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Joke Of The Day


XRSICKT

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  • The Best Member
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My mum works for the government, so she spends most of her day fowarding funny emails to everyone! I'll be able to put plenty of posts in this thread.

Here's the 1st one....

post-4-1054828190.jpg

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  • Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky
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What about this image.

Careful, it may offend some viewers.  There I said it.  You have been warned.

Moderators, be kind.  I couldn`t help myself.

hehe....It is Ford related.....Kind of.

Nice cars!

why are there always models in the way when you're trying to look at a nice car

What car?

I couldn't see any car ... must have been all that dry-retching :thumbsup:

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  • I'm Back!! Thats right, long over due! :)
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Hehehe, you really like that one don't you Gandalf the White, oops I mean KenBoyle.

Ok I'll post something more tasteful next time. :thumbsup:

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  • What's happening?
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2 Wildlife photographers were out on the plains of Africa, photographing a pride of Lions.

They are clicking away, when suddenly the noise of the cameras attracts the attention of the male Lion, who gets up and starts walking towards his next meal.

The first photographer puts down his camera, opens his backpack, and gets out a pair of Reebok runners. As he is tying them up the second photographer, sensing their pending demise,asks him "Why are you bothering putting on your runners, you know we cant outrun a Lion."

"I dont have to" replies the first. "I just have to outrun you."

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  • I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it
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A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result.

On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says happily.

A little while later he goes to McDonalds for lunch and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess that you're 29?"

"Nope, I am actually 47."

He's starting to feel really good about himself.

While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your b@lls for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."

As there was no one else around the man thought "what the heck", and let her slip her hand down his pants.

Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. You are 47." Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"

The old lady replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonalds."

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