A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Prescott, AZ.

He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a bowlful of chilli.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke,

"If u ain’t gonna eat that, mind if I do?"

The older cowboy slowly turns his head towards the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says,

"Nahhhh... you go ahead."

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight.

He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chilli.

The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the chilli into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yup....that's as far as I got too."

A young man was admitted to hospital and it was discovered he had inserted 10 plastic horses into his anus. His condition is said to be Stable.

Mate this is for funny not seriously stupid, ugly, fowl etc, etc. cheers

A train hits a bus of xr6 turbo forum members and they all perish.At the gates of heaven St peter asks the guys whether they have ever had contact with a pen*s..The first guy reg giggles and says,he once touched the tip of one with his finger...Peter asks reg to dip the finger into holy water...

The next guy stevo says he once fondled nicks...so sticks his hand in the holy water

Suddenly there is a commotion and one guy tab pushes to the front..Tab whats the rush? ask's peter...He replies I want to gargle that holy water before jamie sticks his arse in it..............

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got

into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian"

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the

time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like

that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have

won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang

like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should

have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But

Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died. I'm married to his (I tried to swear because I'm unintelligent) widow."

Wiremu, a New Zealander, was in Australia to watch the upcoming Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well,

So he decided to see a doctor.

"Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prostate problems and that the only cure was testicular removal.

"No way doc" replied Wiremu "I'm gitting a sicond opinion ey!"

The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised him that testicular removal was the only cure. Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.

Wiremu was devastated, but with the Rugby World Cup just around the corner he found an expat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last opinion from someone he could trust.

The Kiwi doctor examined him and said: "Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you huv Prostate suckness ey."

"What's the cure thin doc ?" asked Wiremu hoping for a different answer.

"Wull, Wiremu", said the Kiwi doctor "Wi're gonna huv to cut off your balls."

"Phew, thunk god for thut!" said Wiremu, "those Aussies wanted to take my test tickets off me!"

A SHORT LOVE STORY

A man and a woman who had never met before,

found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied

"Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow!That's a great idea!", he exclaimed.

"Good" she replied. "Get your own f****** blanket."

After a moment of silence, ...........he farted.

The End

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.

There was just one lady in front of me. . . an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated . . .

She asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people, too!"