KEN 24T Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky Member 7,371 Member For: 20y 9m 29d Gender: Male Location: The Shire, Middle Earth Posted 28/11/03 05:18 AM Share Posted 28/11/03 05:18 AM So, Falchoon ... who turned you into the "fun police"? What's it to you, grandpa Shouldn't you be out bowling or washing your cardigan or something?Right! That's It!! Down tools, pack the bowls bag, hop in the car (my preciousssss ...) and off to the club. Beautiful Friday afternoon, sun shining, beer is cold, air is clear ... no better time for a sociable games of Twilight Triples.Enjoy the rest of your working day boys and girls, for me ... IT'S THE WEEKEND!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ducatijb Lifetime Members 3,448 Member For: 21y 25d Gender: Male Location: sydney Posted 28/11/03 05:23 AM Share Posted 28/11/03 05:23 AM I wonder if Ken posts between ends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KEN 24T Gandalf the Grey, Maiar of Manwë and Varda, Team HgAg/Sneaky Member 7,371 Member For: 20y 9m 29d Gender: Male Location: The Shire, Middle Earth Posted 28/11/03 05:24 AM Share Posted 28/11/03 05:24 AM I wonder if Ken posts between ends No, but he drinks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macktheknife Xtreme Xalted Member Donating Members 3,112 Member For: 20y 11m 23d Gender: Male Location: BrisVegas Posted 28/11/03 05:54 AM Share Posted 28/11/03 05:54 AM I wonder if posts end between Kens? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlennAUII Former XT pilot Lifetime Members 4,791 Member For: 20y 9m 5d Gender: Male Location: The Womb Posted 28/11/03 12:44 PM Share Posted 28/11/03 12:44 PM --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Q. What do a Rubix cube and a pen*s have in common?A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.Q. What does an old woman have between her breas*s that a young woman doesn't?A. A navel.Q. What is the difference between a woman and a washing machine?A. You can bung your load in a washing machine and it won't call you a week later.Q. Why did god create Adam before he created eve?A. Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.Q. What is a *beep*'s favorite thing to eat?A. A Klondike BarQ. What did the elephant say to the naked man?A. "How do you breath through something so small?"Q. Why don't women wear watches?A. There's a clock on the stove!Q. What doesn't belong in this list : Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?A. Blowjob: You can beat your meat, eggs or wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.Q. Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms?A. They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.Q. What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?A. They both like a tight seal.Q. What's the difference between a wife and a wheelie bin?A. You only have to take out a wheelie bin once a week.Q. What did the two *beep* frogs say to each other?A. WE DO TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!Q. What did the banana say to the vibrator?A. Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.Q. What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys?A. We'd eat *beep* every Thanksgiving.Q. What's the difference between love and herpes?A. Love doesn't last forever.Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?A. Call her and tell her.Q. A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it.A. The thief was spending less then his wife.Q. Why do women have small feet?A. So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.Q. Why do men die before their wives?A. They want to.Q. How do men sort out their laundry?A. Filthy, and filthy but wearable.Q. What's the difference between a man and ET?A. ET phoned home.Q. Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon yet?A. It doesn't need cleaning.Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?A. Because women wouldn't do them if they were called c*nt scrapes.Q. What's the difference between your paycheck and your cock?A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!Q. What do you call kids born in whorehouses?A. Brothel sprouts.Q. What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?A. A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.Q. What's white, smells, and can be found in panties?A. Clitty litterQ. I married Miss Right.A. I just didn't know her first name was "Always."Q. Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?A. When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.Q. How do you know when your cat's done cleaning himself?A. He's smoking a cigarette.Q. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?A. He worked it out with a pencil.Q. Who's the world's greatest athlete?A. The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?A. Women don't get blow jobs while they're drivingQ. Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...A. "Is it in?"Q. What is the cheapest meat?A. Deer balls, there under a buck.Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.Q. What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise?A. The captains log.Q. What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?A. A *beep* with a hard-on.Q. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?A. A red headed b**ch with a yeast infection.Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?A. Finger painting.Q. Did you hear they came out with a new *beep* shoe?A. They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlennAUII Former XT pilot Lifetime Members 4,791 Member For: 20y 9m 5d Gender: Male Location: The Womb Posted 28/11/03 12:56 PM Share Posted 28/11/03 12:56 PM sorry guys, let me know if you think they're over the top and I'll delete the real bad ones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GlennAUII Former XT pilot Lifetime Members 4,791 Member For: 20y 9m 5d Gender: Male Location: The Womb Posted 28/11/03 01:19 PM Share Posted 28/11/03 01:19 PM Q. What's the definition of trust?A. Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 21y 4m 9d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 29/11/03 12:16 AM Share Posted 29/11/03 12:16 AM A WOMAN'S PRAYERDear Lord:So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self indulgent. I have not whined, b**ched, cursed , or eaten any chocolate. I have not charged anything on my credit card.However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes, and I will need a lot more help after that. Amen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 21y 4m 9d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 29/11/03 12:18 AM Share Posted 29/11/03 12:18 AM A rich lady is riding along with her chauffeur when they get a flat tire. He gets out and starts trying to pry off the hubcap.After he struggles a few minutes, she looks out at him and says, "You wanna screwdriver?"He says, "Hell, we might as well. I can't get this freaking hubcap off." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aniken I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it Donating Members 4,316 Member For: 21y 4m 9d Gender: Male Location: Sydney, south west Posted 29/11/03 12:20 AM Share Posted 29/11/03 12:20 AM Two atoms are walking down the street when they run into each other.The first says to the second, "Are you all right? You don't look so good." "I'm not feeling very well," says the second atom. "I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" asks the first."Yeah, I'm positive!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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