For Lumpy

[aniken]

A lady libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay. She received back the following reply:

The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, D.C. 20016

Dear Concerned Citizen,

Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Quaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington. You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers" program, or LARK for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.

Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers.

We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.

Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time.

Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" -- wasn't that how you put it?

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job . You take good care of Ahmed - and remember...we'll be watching.

Good luck!

Cordially, your friend,

Don Rumsfeld

[tab]

That's brilliant.

[saleen]

hahahahahahahaha

I don't get it......

[Lumpen]

Aint THIS a bitch?

Ride roughshod over that...May as well, as they're also ignoring: THIS, THIS, and also THIS just for good measure.

[Guest newl]

A lady libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay. She received back the following reply:

Quite a funny read.

Aint THIS a bitch?

Ride roughshod over that...May as well, as they're also ignoring: THIS, THIS, and also THIS just for good measure.

What has the U.S. Constitution have to do with the detainees?

Keep in mind that the document you pointed out only applies to U.S. Citizens, premanent residents, or others who may perform unlawful acts within U.S. borders or territorys (thereby causing them to fall under U.S. jurisdiction).

If memory serves, they are not also not classified as prisoners of war. Geneva perhaps, I suspect, may come into play more so if it's a human rights issue.

[phantomchic]

That letter says it all!!

a terrorist rates the same as These Dudes

wouldn't want them roaming the streets either

shazzy

[YPURV4]

lol that's funny as, so true.

[Lumpen]

What has the U.S. Constitution have to do with the detainees?

Keep in mind that the document you pointed out only applies to U.S. Citizens, premanent residents, or others who may perform unlawful acts within U.S. borders or territorys (thereby causing them to fall under U.S. jurisdiction).

If memory serves, they are not also not classified as prisoners of war.  Geneva perhaps, I suspect, may come into play more so if it's a human rights issue.

←

My point is more that if they're going to ride roughshod over the Generva convention (which they are) then they're more than happy to do similar to it's own citizens (which they are), though having said that, even the US Supreme court has found the conduct of such military tribunals as illegal.

Merely because a C-Grade puppet with an agenda of fear has found some pitiful and disgusting excuse to class these people as something other than POW's, doesn't mean they shouldn't be classified as such. David Hicks is a case in point, too complicated to go into here however.

Brendan

[Lumpen]

That letter says it all!!

a terrorist rates the same as These Dudes 

wouldn't want them roaming the streets either

shazzy

←

and WHO determines they're a terrorist?

I thought you were smarter than to believe blatant fearmongering Shaz?

Brendan

[Kimberley Scott]

I think it is all about making the masses feel safe. The letter is slightly amusing on one hand, but mindless retoric on the other.

Scotty