this first one is my fav...

in a treehouse of horror a krusty doll is trying to kill homer...

Homer : Marge look! The clown is trying to kill me, and the toasters been laughing at me!

Bart : so ralph, whats it taste like

Ralph : it tastes like burning

"Operator, give me the number for 9-11"

BART: Homer do you wear Boxers or Jocks?

HOMER (looking down the front of his pants) : Nope!

Press any key to continue,Homie.."Any key ?which one is the any key??"

Cletus,"whats a light switch"

"Hey ma, get off the dang roof"

vik

oh, this is a sensational thread...

I am going to make it my job to post a quote every day...does that count as spamming??? I think not

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.

Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

Chris

Awesome thread idea.

Lisa: ...it's an ancient Pagen tradition.

Homer: God bless the Pagans.

And...

Inside an alien space ship, where the Simpsons are being treated to a feast while en route to the Alient planet...

Lisa: Mum, Dad, everyone... stop eating. The Aliens are trying to fatten us up so they can eat us all.

Marge: don't be silly Lisa.

Lisa: No Mum, look at this book I found in their kitchen: "How to cook humans".

Alien: No, no... there's dust on that book. (Blows it off), See? It says "how to cook FOR humans"

Lisa: hang on there's more dust on the cover. (Blows it off). There! - "How to cook FORTY humans".

Alien: (Blows off more dust) - No - it says, "How to cook FOR forty humans".

My Fave ..

Ralph - "I don't have a red crayon"

Teacher - "Where is your red crayon?"

Ralph - "I ate it ..."

(Or close enuff to tha effect)

B

when theres a badger in the dogs kennel...

kids to homer: dad theres a badger in there!

homer: badger my ass! its probably millhouse. MILLHOUSE!!

*badger tears him to shreds*

:lol:

Bart, when defending himself

"I didn't do it"

"nobody saw me do it"

"you can't prove a thing"

One word, used by so many characters: "Yoink"..... :lol: