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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.''

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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Vegemite......... one jar.

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Reminds me of when I worked at a butcher while I was at uni and there was a really annoying customer who carried her dog under her arm. One day one of the butchers said "Nice pig!" "What? It's a dog" she replied. "Yeah I know, I was talking to the dog."

I'm dyslexic and cannot turn off simple functions in tapatalk

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On 04/06/2003 at 9:59 AM, saleen said:

Heres some automotive acronyms. Yes theres Ford ones too. Enjoy


Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

All Un-informed Drivers Insulted

All Unnecessary Devices Installed


Big Money Waste

Beautiful Mechanical Wonder

Bavarian Manure Wagon

Big Money Works

Bought My Wife

Brutal Money Waster

b**ch Magnet on Wheels


Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer


Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips

Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

Chews Heads, Eats Valves, Runs Only Low ET's

Can Handle Everything, Runs Over Limbs, Even Trees


Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater

Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

Dead On Day Guarantee Expires


Failure in Italian Automotive Technology

Fix It All the Time

Fix It Again, Tony!

Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation


Fix Or Repair Daily

Found On Road, Dead

Fault Of R&D

Fast Only Rolling Downhill

F**ker Only Runs Downhill

F***ed Over Rebuilt Dodge

First On Rust and Deterioration

First On Recall Day

First On Race Day

Fails On Race Day

Fails On Rainy Days

backwards -- Driver Returns On Foot

Features O.J. and Ron's DNA


General Maintenance

Generally Mediocre

Gypped Me


Garage Man's Companion

Gotta Mechanic Coming?

God's Mechanical Curse

GrandMother's C**t


Get'cher Tools Out


Had One Never Did Again

Happy Owners Never Drive Anything Else


Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive


Just Empty Every Pocket

Just Everyone Else's Parts


Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along


My Old Pig Ain't Running

Most Original Parts Already Replaced


Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday

Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment


Put In Nickel To Operate


Please Let Your Mother Out (from) Under The Hood


Poor Ole Nut Thinks It's A Cadillac


Send Another Automobile Back

Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown


Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto


Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object


Virtually Worthless


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Q: How do you eat a vegetable?
A: Take them out of their wheel chair


Q: whats the worst thing about making vegetable soup?
A: Fitting the wheel chair in the pot


Q: whats the worst thing about eating vegetable soup ?
A: chewing the tyres

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