Panda Eyes flame magnet Gold Donating Members 5,673 Member For: 15y 11m 2d Gender: Male Location: adelaide hills- 'race air' central Posted 20/01/17 11:13 AM Share Posted 20/01/17 11:13 AM A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, ''But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.'' 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panda Eyes flame magnet Gold Donating Members 5,673 Member For: 15y 11m 2d Gender: Male Location: adelaide hills- 'race air' central Posted 20/01/17 11:16 AM Share Posted 20/01/17 11:16 AM I was in Big W and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, ''Are you two an item?'' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panda Eyes flame magnet Gold Donating Members 5,673 Member For: 15y 11m 2d Gender: Male Location: adelaide hills- 'race air' central Posted 20/01/17 11:17 AM Share Posted 20/01/17 11:17 AM I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Vegemite......... one jar. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Andrew Gold Donating Members 2,019 Member For: 8y 11m 26d Gender: Male Location: Canberra ACT Posted 20/01/17 11:18 AM Share Posted 20/01/17 11:18 AM Reminds me of when I worked at a butcher while I was at uni and there was a really annoying customer who carried her dog under her arm. One day one of the butchers said "Nice pig!" "What? It's a dog" she replied. "Yeah I know, I was talking to the dog." I'm dyslexic and cannot turn off simple functions in tapatalk 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k31th less WHY; more WOT Site Developer 28,288 Member For: 16y 8d Gender: Male Location: Melbourne Posted 20/01/17 11:19 AM Share Posted 20/01/17 11:19 AM I don't mind you copy+pasting, but please hit the "remove formatting" button before you hit the "submit" button 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puffwagon Puff Gold Donating Members 15,111 Member For: 9y 2m 19d Gender: Male Location: South Australia Posted 20/01/17 11:28 AM Share Posted 20/01/17 11:28 AM Q: What rhymes with formatting? A: No it doesn't. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanamond New Member 5 Member For: 6y 11m 7d Posted 13/05/17 11:23 AM Share Posted 13/05/17 11:23 AM You are all hilarious! I laughed like crazy. Here is one from me: What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk? A centipede with a wooden leg :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daisy gorard New Member 1 Member For: 6y 8m 25d Gender: Female Location: Perth Posted 24/07/17 11:44 AM Share Posted 24/07/17 11:44 AM On 04/06/2003 at 9:59 AM, saleen said: Heres some automotive acronyms. Yes theres Ford ones too. Enjoy AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Always Unsafe Designs Implemented All Un-informed Drivers Insulted All Unnecessary Devices Installed BMW Big Money Waste Beautiful Mechanical Wonder Bavarian Manure Wagon Big Money Works Bought My Wife Brutal Money Waster b**ch Magnet on Wheels BUICK Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time Chews Heads, Eats Valves, Runs Only Low ET's Can Handle Everything, Runs Over Limbs, Even Trees DODGE Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere Dead On Day Guarantee Expires FIAT Failure in Italian Automotive Technology Fix It All the Time Fix It Again, Tony! Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation FORD Fix Or Repair Daily Found On Road, Dead Fault Of R&D Fast Only Rolling Downhill F**ker Only Runs Downhill F***ed Over Rebuilt Dodge First On Rust and Deterioration First On Recall Day First On Race Day Fails On Race Day Fails On Rainy Days backwards -- Driver Returns On Foot Features O.J. and Ron's DNA GM General Maintenance Generally Mediocre Gypped Me GMC Garage Man's Companion Gotta Mechanic Coming? God's Mechanical Curse GrandMother's C**t GTO Get'cher Tools Out HONDA Had One Never Did Again Happy Owners Never Drive Anything Else HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive JEEP Just Empty Every Pocket Just Everyone Else's Parts MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along MOPAR My Old Pig Ain't Running Most Original Parts Already Replaced OLDSMOBILE Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment PINTO Put In Nickel To Operate PLYMOUTH Please Let Your Mother Out (from) Under The Hood PONTIAC Poor Ole Nut Thinks It's A Cadillac SAAB Send Another Automobile Back Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown TOYOTA Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto VOLVO Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object VW Virtually Worthless Amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puffwagon Puff Gold Donating Members 15,111 Member For: 9y 2m 19d Gender: Male Location: South Australia Posted 08/08/17 01:14 AM Share Posted 08/08/17 01:14 AM What is the best part about gardening? Getting dirty with your hoes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k31th less WHY; more WOT Site Developer 28,288 Member For: 16y 8d Gender: Male Location: Melbourne Posted 16/10/17 12:34 PM Share Posted 16/10/17 12:34 PM Q: How do you eat a vegetable? A: Take them out of their wheel chair Q: whats the worst thing about making vegetable soup? A: Fitting the wheel chair in the pot Q: whats the worst thing about eating vegetable soup ? A: chewing the tyres Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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