Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 2m 18d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 11/04/12 12:48 AM Share Posted 11/04/12 12:48 AM The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for aliving. One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said hermother was an engineer.When it was Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said "My mom's ahooker."Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office.Then, 15 minutes later, he returned.So the teacher asked "Did you tell the principal what you said in class?"Johnny said, "Yes.""Well, what did the principal say?""He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me a pocket fullof lollipops and asked for my phone number... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howsee Donating Members 785 Member For: 16y 6m 14d Gender: Male Location: Carindale, Brisbane Posted 11/04/12 04:01 AM Share Posted 11/04/12 04:01 AM Love this thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 2m 18d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 11/04/12 09:11 PM Share Posted 11/04/12 09:11 PM Two Elderly Gents Decided They Were Close To Their Last Days And Decide To Have A Last Night On The Town. After A Few Drinks, They End Up At The Local Brothel.The Madam Takes One Look At The Two Old Geezers And Whispers To Her Manager, 'go Up To The First Two Bedrooms And Put An Inflated Doll In Each Bed. These Two Are So Old And Drunk, I'm Not Wasting Two Of My Girls On Them. They Won't Know The Difference. ‘The Manager Does As He Is Told And The Two Old Men Go Upstairs And Take Care Of Their Business.As They Are Walking Home The First Man Says, ‘you Know, I Think My Girl Was Dead!''dead?' Says His Friend, 'why Do You Say That?''well, She Never Moved Or Made A Sound All The Time I Was Loving Her.’His Friend Says, 'could Be Worse I Think Mine Was A Witch. ‘‘a Witch ??. Why The Hell Would You Say That?’'well, I Was Making Love To Her, Kissing Her On The Neck, And I Gave Her A Little Bite, Then She Farted And Flew Out The Window... Took My Teeth With Her!’ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 2m 18d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 11/04/12 09:12 PM Share Posted 11/04/12 09:12 PM They always ask at the doctor's reception why you are there, and you haveto answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell herwhat is wrong with you, in a room full of other patients.I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guyhandled it.A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached thedesk.The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today**?'**'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied.The receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into acrowded waiting room and say things like that. ''Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said.The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in thisroom full of people.You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or somethingand discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.'The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a roomful ofstrangers if the answer could embarrass anyone.The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, 'Yes??'**'There's something wrong with my ear,' he stated.**The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken heradvice.'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?''I can't piss out of it,' he replied.The waiting room erupted in laughter.Mess with seniors and you're going to lose! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corzza 777 Member 7,135 Member For: 15y 2m 18d Gender: Male Location: Neutral Bay. Born and Bred in the RSA Posted 11/04/12 09:13 PM Share Posted 11/04/12 09:13 PM THE BLONDE WHO HUNTED ALLIGATORS: A BLONDE JOKE THAT YOU'VE NEVER HEARD BEFOREAfter becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers,the young blonde declared,'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and Get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go give it a try?' The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, and spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the murky water,shotgun in hand. He saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.With lightning reflexes, the blond took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up.The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blond struggled with the gator. Then, rolling her eyes, she screamed in frustration...... Sonofabitch!! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panda Eyes flame magnet Gold Donating Members 5,673 Member For: 15y 11m 3d Gender: Male Location: adelaide hills- 'race air' central Posted 11/04/12 11:08 PM Share Posted 11/04/12 11:08 PM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pkooistra Member 88 Member For: 12y 5m 5d Gender: Male Posted 12/04/12 01:02 AM Share Posted 12/04/12 01:02 AM .............................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralph Wiggum Moar Powar Babeh Lifetime Members 19,323 Member For: 18y 6m 27d Gender: Male Location: Perth Posted 12/04/12 02:31 AM Share Posted 12/04/12 02:31 AM ^ are you a Queenslander? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciaran Thooperrrrrrr Donating Members 2,768 Member For: 12y 9m 17d Gender: Male Location: NOR, Western Australia Posted 12/04/12 06:57 AM Share Posted 12/04/12 06:57 AM ^ are you a Queenslander? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pkooistra Member 88 Member For: 12y 5m 5d Gender: Male Posted 12/04/12 08:08 AM Share Posted 12/04/12 08:08 AM (edited) ......................... Edited 12/04/12 11:15 AM by Ralph Wiggum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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